


Dear Ezra

by ifonlytheclockworkcouldspeak



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/M, Gen, OT4 Friendship, Post-Finale, a is for answers, aria-centric, the parents are actually present in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-11 06:18:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3317279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifonlytheclockworkcouldspeak/pseuds/ifonlytheclockworkcouldspeak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post 4x24 aka the aftermath of Ezra being shot and how Aria deals with it, including her worst fears coming to life in her head and a letter that she has lots of time to perfect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Blank Page Beginning, Empty Head, the World is Spinning

.  
“I'm looking for some kind of sign, the sun to touch this face of mine. I don't want this place in line. I won't settle, I want something real.” ~Mindset Evolution, “Hopeless”

//

*Spencer POV*

It’s 4:30 am in the hospital waiting room. Aria is sitting on a hard plastic chair, Emily to her left and Hanna to her right. She has her head buried into the blonde’s shoulder, a death grip on the hand of the dark-haired girl to her left. The petite girl had quieted her sobs enough to be let into the hospital’s purgatory, but I could tell she needed an outlet or she might break down again.  
Aria’s shoulders started to shake harder, and Hanna gave me a pleading look. I didn’t know how to help my despondent friend, because I’d been in her situation and I handled it so brilliantly that I ended up in an insane asylum. All I knew was she needed a way to get her emotions out. I also knew she wouldn’t leave this room until she heard news about the love of her life we call Mr. Fitz. Suddenly I had an idea. I signaled to Hanna to wait a second, then turned on my heel and strode toward the tired-looking secretary. I peered at the cluttered shelves behind her. Boxes labeled “Sign In” and “Storage”, rolls of stickers, stacks of pristine towels and blankets, and a clear bin filled with composition books. Bingo.  
“Can I help you?” The secretary asked irritably, pushing up her glasses as she looked up at Spencer.  
“Can I please have one of those notebooks and a pen?” I requested, giving the woman a sweet smile.  
“Why would you need that?”  
“Look, my friend is going to have a mental breakdown if she doesn’t have a way to get her emotions out.”  
“What does that have to do with my notebooks?”  
“She’s a writer. And the love of her life might be dead, so if you could please just give. me. the. book.”  
The woman rolled her chair backwards, swiveled around, stood up, pulled a notebook from the bin and handed it to me. I said a quick thanks and took it from her. My phone let out a chime just as I pulled a pen from the cup on her desk.  
“I’ll call you in a minute,” I said to the caller, not bothering to check who it was.  
/  
*Third Person POV*

Spencer quickly walked over to her distraught best friend. The shorter girl had shifted her position, her right hand clenched in a fist on her knee, her left still squeezing Emily’s now slightly blue hand. Hanna gently rubbed her arm. Aria sat still, staring into space, silent tears running down her cheeks. Every so often a choked sob escaped her throat. Spencer knelt down in front of a practically unresponsive Aria.  
“Hey, Aria,” She spoke softly, holding the small girl’s still closed fist. Gently she pried the clenched fingers apart. Aria barely moved. Spencer opened the notebook and placed it in Aria’s lap. She opened the pen and put it in Aria’s hand. Her friend gripped it tightly. But when she pressed it to the page, the ball point tip sat idle. Spencer looked to Emily and Hanna for help. Hanna shrugged unsurely, Emily nodded towards Aria. Suddenly, in true Hastings fashion, Spencer had a brilliant idea.  
“Dear Ezra…” She prompted her heartbroken friend. “It’s okay,” She whispered.  
Aria blinked and began to write, a waterfall coming from the pen. She released Emily’s hand, ducking her head and writing furiously. Spencer smiled and sat down on the floor with her back against Aria’s chair. She hugged her knees to her chest and leaning her head on Hanna’s leg. Whoever had begged her attention through cell phone would have to wait.  
/  
Twenty minutes later, Aria suddenly took a sharp breath, closed the notebook and dropped the pen, which fell to the tile. The other three girls looked at her.  
“Aria?” Emily tried, “Do you want to talk about it?” Aria shook her head no. Spencer’s phone rang again. Checking the caller ID, she stood up.  
“I’ll be right back,” She assured Aria, before leaning down to whisper to Emily, “Stay with her; I’ll be back in a minute.” Then Spencer tapped Hanna’s arm, asking her to come with. They walked out the automatic doors into the parking lot, their two best friends still in the stuffy waiting room.


	2. The Waiting is the Hardest Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long to update, i wanted to get this up sooner but i got some really terrible news and only wanted to write happy things (hence the Carmilla oneshots i've been posting). Thanks for understanding, hope you enjoy!

“My head is like a prison cell, ‘cause I’m all by myself…” ~ The Pretty Reckless, “Waiting for a Friend”

//

 

Emily sat silently next to Aria, alternating between worriedly glancing around the waiting room and looking down at her best friend.  She wasn’t sure how long it had been since Spencer and Hanna left (about four minutes) but it felt like days passed as she helplessly stroked Aria’s arm between soft whispers of “It’s okay, you’re okay…”  After countless scans of the nearly empty room, Aria suddenly loosened her grip on Emily’s hand.  The taller girl turned her full attention to her friend.

“Em?” Aria whispered, her voice raw and cracked from crying.

“Hmm?” Emily replied gently.

“What if…” She tried to keep her voice from trembling, “What if… he doesn’t… wake up?”

“I don’t know,” Emily smiled sadly, “But you know what I do know?”  Aria looked at her in confusion.  “I know that he loves you,” she paused, turning Aria’s head to look at her, “and I know that whatever happened between you guys, you will work it out.  Whether you want to believe him, whether you want to forgive him or not, it’s going to work out in the end.  And I know it hurts, I know it’s killing you, but you are doing so amazing.  You are so strong, Aria and we all believe in you.”  Aria nodded, sniffling and wiping her tears.  Emily opened her arms and Aria leaned heavily into her, holding onto her best friend like her life depended on it.  As far as Emily was concerned, it did.

Eventually Aria fell asleep.  Emily had received a text from Spencer informing her that they were going to get their stuff and would be back by 8:00 with breakfast.  She looked down at her broken friend, wishing there was more she could do.  Sighing, Emily rested her head back against the wall and drifted off.

/

Aria’s sleep was fitful and it wasn’t long before her nightmares woke her.    Careful not to disturb an exhausted Emily, Aria moved away from her friend and covered her with a sweatshirt.  She stretched, rubbed her eyes and headed towards the bathroom.  After washing her hands and splashing cold water on her face, Aria returned to her seat and checked her phone.  6:44 am.  She still had some time before Spencer and Hanna came back but Aria knew she would not be able to go back to sleep.  She tried reading to distract herself but it only reminded her of Ezra.  She tried to listen to music but the universe decided to play a cruel joke on her when the second song to play was Happiness by The Fray.  Aria considered going outside but it was freezing and she didn’t have her coat.  Eventually she settled for slouching into her chair and counting the ceiling tiles.  52.  What if he doesn’t make it?  78.  How could he have lied to me for so long?  114.  Was everything a lie?  225, 226.  It turned out that counting tiles was not stimulating enough to distract her from anything.  She continued to inventory the tiny squares but it did nothing to make her feel better.  The worst thing about waiting was not the suspense of whether or not Ezra would be okay.  It was not the sleepless nights that left all four girls exhausted.  It was not the tears, though many were shed.  The worst part was that Aria was trapped inside of her own head.  She was left alone with her thoughts, her anxiety, and her imagination envisioning the worst.  Aria’s mental state was nearly as precarious as Ezra’s physical one.  But at least he had doctors taking care of him.  All Aria had going for her was four thousand ceiling tiles and millions of what ifs swirling in her head.  And her friends, but they could only do so much.  Aria soon ran out of things to count and her body gave in to the fatigue. 

/

An hour later, Emily’s phone vibrated in her pocket.   She stirred, rubbing her eyes and pulling it out.  She stood and walked to the edge of the room as she took the call.

“Hello?” *pause* “Yeah, I’m with her now, she’s asleep.”  *pause* “We’re still in New York in the hospital— No, he hasn’t woken up yet…” *pause* “I think a little better.  Obviously she’s hurt but she’s trying.” *pause* “Yeah, I think that would be good.” *pause* “Probably a change of clothes for all of us and some blankets, I don’t see Aria leaving the hospital anytime soon.” *pause* “Of course, I’ll see you tonight, Mrs. Montgomery.  Can you tell my mom I’ll call her later?” “Thanks, okay, bye.”  Emily pressed end on the call and saw that she had a text from Hanna that she and Spencer were on their way up.  Emily walked over to Aria.

“Hey, Ar,” She said softly, shaking Aria’s shoulder, “Wake up,”

“What?” Aria asked, sleepy and confused, rubbing her eyes.

“Spence and Hanna are coming, they have breakfast.”

“Oh.” Aria sighed.

Hanna and Spencer strode through the automatic doors and over to their friends.  Hanna handed Emily and Aria each a coffee, taking her own cup out and handing the tray to Spencer.  Spencer reached into the plastic bag on her arm and handed Emily some sort of foil-wrapped breakfast.  She offered one to Aria who shook her head.

“Aria, come on, you have to eat something.” Spencer pleaded.  Aria didn’t respond.  “What about a chocolate croissant?” Aria considered this for a moment, then reluctantly agreed.  Spencer handed her the treat then sat down next to her, handing out the rest of the food. 

“So, what’d we miss?” Hanna asked.

“Not much, still haven’t heard anything,” Emily replied, glancing towards the desk, “Oh, and Aria, your mom is coming.  She’ll be here by tonight.”

This caught the attention of Aria, who had scarfed down her croissant and pulled her knees to her chest, not acknowledging the conversation.

“What?!?”

/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to give me feedback, thanks!


End file.
